I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize