Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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