After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
