Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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