Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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