Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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