If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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