when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
