I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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