you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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