I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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