Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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