Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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