That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
