do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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