Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
