just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
