I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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