I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
