there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
