You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
