he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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