i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
