Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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