I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
