I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize