drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize