So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
