normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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