so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
