Christians are straight up FREAKS
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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