is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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