i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
