I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
