Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
