I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
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