no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
