thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
