And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
