i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
