stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
