I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
