I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
