I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
