Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The adults are the big ones right?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
