Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
