he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
