How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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