did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
