Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize