I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
