we're blogging at a bar
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
