whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She told me I should be a condom model.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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