Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize