At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
