almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
