i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
