cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize