I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize