it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
